A few customer stories...

A customer called in today telling us he was going to pay on the Webber…
"You're going to pay on the what?" I asked.
"Webber. I'm going to pay my account using the Webber"

You can imagine at this stage, I'm picturing a man bbq'ing his bill on his Webber bbq. He didn't sound like he was trying to be sarcastic with me so again I said
"You're going to pay on your Webber?"
"Yes," he repeated… and then clarified, "I'm going to pay using bpay on the Webber"
"Oh, using the web, the internet?"

"Yes, yes!" he exclaimed, obviously happy to have been understood….


Then I had another lady who had a high bill enquiry. She couldn't believe she could have used that much. She asked if her account had been estimated.
"No," I said, "Your meter was read."
"Not estimated?" She asked again.

I wanted to say, "Most people know that saying that your meter is read means that it wasn't estimated!!!" but instead I said "No it wasn't estimated. In fact, having a look at your reading history, it hasn't ever been estimated. We always take an actual reading at your property."
And the woman says to me "Are you sure?"

At that point I wanted to say "no, actually I think you're right! *smacking forehead* it's been estimated!! How did you know! You're so brilliant!! And to think, me with all the meter and account information here in front of me, couldn't know that it had been estimated! Honestly, you're brilliant. Would you like a job here so we lowly call staff can be taught the right way to do it?"
But I said "yes I'm sure. It's an actual reading"


And then there are the strange class of people who want to tell me they never shower and only cook in the microwave, so how could they have an account this high??
I'd love to say that maybe it's the "stinkyman" surcharge kicking in.
Ewww….

Did you believe that?

I wonder how many people were told things as a child, that they might not have really believed, but weren't game enough to put it to the test just in case...

What am I talking about?
Well, how many of you were told that if you ate bread crusts, your hair would grow curly?
I have curly hair and anyone that knows me knows that the crust of the bread is my favourite part however the only reason I have curly hair is genetics!!!




What about the saying that if you make a face when the wind blows, your face would stay like that? Wow was I ever scared of that one!! I think I was well into my teens before I would chance that one...



Who of you were too scared to step on a crack?


And wasn't it nice thinking there really was a tooth fairy? I so much wanted to believe that a magical, pretty little fairy came into my room while I was sleeping, took my old tooth and left a shiny little coin in it's place....




And the fairies resided at the bottom of the garden of course... along with the pixies and those nasty trolls.




Was there anyone else that really really wanted their parents to drive them to the end of the rainbow just in case there really was a pot of gold there? That elusive end of the rainbow... somehow we never quite made it... or did someone else just beat us to it and took the gold before we got there?


We were never really told about the monstors under the bed or in the cupboard but we all knew they were there and somehow only came alive when the lights went out.


Where do these sayings and thoughts come from?

Do you have any of your own to add to my little list?

Eating Cake & Diet Rules...

I've always hated the expression "he wants his cake and wants to eat it too" I mean really, what nonsense is that!!!

Can you imagine sitting in a cafe with a group of friends, you all order cake and coffees... while your friends munch away on theirs, you leave your cake untouched. It's time to go and one of your friends notices your untouched cake.

"Aren't you going to eat that?" they ask you.

"oh no", you reply quite indignantly, "I don't want to be one of those people who gets their cakes AND eats it to!! no way, not me!"

Speaking of eating cake, seems there are always people around me that are dieting or wanting to lose weight so I thought now would be a good time to list a few diet laws.

These laws are not scientifically tested but neither is naturopathy and we all know that works!!!So for all you dieters....

1. If you eat it standing up, it has no calories.

2. If you eat from someone else's plate, it has no calories.

3. Mothers this one's for you. If you have children who don't finish their food, the unfinished portion that you end up polishing off has no calorie content.

4. The sliver you cut off of cake, bread, or any other loaf like item to make the remaining portion "neat" has no calories... no matter how many times you need to shape that cake/bread/etc, to make it "neat"

5. When baking, tasting the batter to check if it's correct has no calories.

5a. "licking the bowl" contains no calories.5

b. checking the finished product to see if it turned out ok contains no calories.

6. Eating in front of the television is bad only if you think about it. If you mindlessly shovel food into your mouth without thinking about it, then you didn't really eat it and therefore has no calories.

7. Food consumed at the cinema has no calories because it's part of the whole movie going experience.

8. Similarly, food consumed at parties has no calories because it's part of the party experience. This is especially true if you don't notice what you're eating (see Law 6)

9. If you eat while exercising (i.e., walking to the donut shop/fish & chip shop/bakers delight/McDonalds etc) then it has no calories.

10. If you really don't want the food you're consuming to have millions of calories, then by the power of your mind, those calories are wished away.

So there you go dieters.

Like I said, they're not scientifically proven but I have lived by these rules and know others that have and are still living by these rules.

So when you hear people say "I'm watching what I eat but I still can't lose weight" you can say, "a ha!, it's because you're watching what you eat!!! You have to be mindless about it!! Don't notice what you're eating, just shovel it in before your mind has a chance to respond! Then you too can be one of those people that say 'I don’t' eat anything yet I can't lose weight!' "

Naughty but funny...

It's not that I want to embarrass anyone but this cracked me up yesterday and I wanted to write about it...

I was one of the few people who hadn't seen Schindlers List. I had always wanted to see it as I'd heard how powerful it was but for one reason or another, I never did.

Deno got it for me over the weekend and I thought it would be good for the kids to see it too....
Now they being teenagers, aren't really interested in seeing a movie unless their current heart throb is in it, or their friends have told them it's a movie they have to see... so when I told them that I wanted them to watch it too, they were against it..

Still not taking no for an answer, I told them that it wasn't an option, they had to at least start to watch it later that night when we'd all be home, and then we'd take it from there...

But as the day went on and the grumbles (from a particular girl) became more and more frequent, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I got her mobile phone when she wasn't looking and changed my name on her contact list to her best friends name.
I then went back to my phone and sent her a text saying something about just having seen Schindlers list and what a great movie it was....
When she came back in and saw this message, supposedly from her best friend, she announced it to us all and wrote back to her 'friend' "funny enough, I'm seeing it today" without knowing what was really going on.
I could barely keep the laughter in. I know it's horrible but it's funny too isn't it???

So she watched it.. in fact both kids watched it all with us and we were all affected by it but I'm sure she must have been wondering why her friend had described this as an "awesome" movie!!!

One day on, I still haven't told her that it was me and today they're going to school so I wonder what conversations she's going to have with her best friend???

I'm such a mean mum!!!!
:)

So Close...

I've been working on the lyric sheet for "I Like That" for the last week or so.
It was important to me to have this with the CD so whoever is listening to it, can know what the songs are about.

I find the lyrics are the last thing I pay attention to usually but not everyone is like me...
Like I mentioned in my last blog entry, there is a demo of the songs that are going to be on "I Like That" on the right hand side of this page under "My MP3's"
15 songs in total.

So right now, I'm looking for the best option for printing the lyric booklet off but more or less, the design is set and done.

This is going to be the album cover.
Can't believe it's almost done!

I was going to sell through www.lulu.com but I wasn't given enough options for cover design so I think I'll just sell it myself from home to whoever wants it.
Can't believe it's just about done.
What am I going to fill my days with now??