Playing squash & horror reflections...

Deno and I went to play squash today and it really was a lot of fun!

He's been asking me to play for quite some time but as he's really competitive, and I play more for the fun of it, I was a little put off going...

But in the end I thought I'd give it a go and really had a great time. I was actually able to hit the ball and when he held back, even scored a few points for myself!
I can only get better right?

Luckily we had a court that was shielded from the rest of the complex so it was also very private and nobody witnessed my sometimes, lame attempts at the ball.

Oh, I take that back... there was some annoying person watching. She was a frumpy looking thing who I noticed every time I looked at the sheen from the glass at the back of the court. I've also noticed her when I look in my bathroom mirror but thankfully I've learnt to ignore her so I didn't pay her too much attention today either...

So, I don't want to speak to soon, but I think today's activity may have motivated me because later on in the day we went to Harbour Town and I bought a new pair of running shoes!! I plan to use them tomorrow morning...

AND I'm also looking to get the timetable of a gym that's nearby..

I know, I can hardly believe it myself!! but I have to do something to make that annoying frumpy girl I keep seeing in reflective surfaces go away!!

Because I work in a call centre...

Here is the latest collection of silly things that we call centre staff, or our lovely customers have said...

A customer called in and said "Yeah I'd like to register for… umm… I've got one of those recession cards. Do you get anything off with a recession card?" Actually I think there are a couple of whole countries that are holding one of those cards at the moment!!

But to show that it's not all about the "silly" customer all the time, here are some of the things that we operators have said...

One of my colleagues once spoke to a customer who identified themself as Zachary.

Brimming with confidence and personality, my colleague who is NOT called Zachary said

"Hi Zachary, this is Zachary, how can I help you?"

Another colleague named Max once answered the phone saying

"Good morning, Welcome to Max, how can I help you?"

Instead of saying our company name.I kinda like that one.

Welcome to Margot. My world. My rules.

Yet another colleague was once overheard answering a call saying

"Good Morning, this is Joe. How can I help you tonight?"

Tonight? Was Joe taking the customer on a date? hehe

Yet another call was answered

"Good morning, this is Sally. How can I help you with MY utility account?"

Well heck we get utility accounts too that we have to pay don’t we?

At the end of the call we're supposed to say "Thanks for calling" but some variations said by my colleagues are

"Thanks for your day"

And even,"Thanks for calling, have a good gay"

Don't know if I should mention that the person who said that last statement is actually gay... make of that what you will! *wink*

Another closing statement heard was "Thanks for coming" instead of "Thanks for calling"

Ok, so I'll admit that one came from me, and the stranger thing was, the customer didn't say anything! Perhaps they didn't hear.

Oh and Jesus called into the call centre today. I was a bit miffed that the operator who got him didn’t ask those tricky questions like, is he really the son of god?, and how did he manage to get out of that tomb? And what was his real relationship with Mary Magdalene?

Isn’t it wonderful that this constant stream of customer and operator stories never stop!

Customer Stories cos you know you love em!

Today I answered the phone and was just about to go into the opening spiel when I heard a woman SCREAM what I thought was my name!


This freaked me out a bit because how the hell would she know what my name was before I'd given it???


Then she says calmly, "I'm sorry, did you hear me screaming just now?"


And I refrained from saying "yes master, what would you have me do"


Instead I said "yes, in fact I thought you said my name"


She laughed and said she had just been yelling at her dog who is called "milo" (Kinda sounds like Margot right?)


Phew, the world is still a rational place.




Actually I take that comment about rationality back. I had a man contact me today to tell me we were over charging him because his last account ws $80 and this one was $89.


Now honestly, what chance could I possibly have with someone like that???


As I started to explain it's Winter and you use more etc etc he cut me off with "oh you've got all your ready made answers haven't you but you're just ripping me off!"


Sometimes I'm just lost for words.



A guy was cut off for non payment of account. We had been in contact with him last month and he had promised to get in touch by the end of August to let us know when he was paying. We didn't hear from him so he was disconnected.


He called in today FURIOUS!!! how dare we disconnect him!! he's got four kids!


How can someone be so indignant about being disconnected when they haven't paid? And yes I certainly feel sorry for the kids but all the more reason for him to pull his thumb out and contact us when he was supposed to!





Now tell me, if you had to ring your utility company, would you want to get someone like me on the other end?

A few customer stories...

A customer called in today telling us he was going to pay on the Webber…
"You're going to pay on the what?" I asked.
"Webber. I'm going to pay my account using the Webber"

You can imagine at this stage, I'm picturing a man bbq'ing his bill on his Webber bbq. He didn't sound like he was trying to be sarcastic with me so again I said
"You're going to pay on your Webber?"
"Yes," he repeated… and then clarified, "I'm going to pay using bpay on the Webber"
"Oh, using the web, the internet?"

"Yes, yes!" he exclaimed, obviously happy to have been understood….


Then I had another lady who had a high bill enquiry. She couldn't believe she could have used that much. She asked if her account had been estimated.
"No," I said, "Your meter was read."
"Not estimated?" She asked again.

I wanted to say, "Most people know that saying that your meter is read means that it wasn't estimated!!!" but instead I said "No it wasn't estimated. In fact, having a look at your reading history, it hasn't ever been estimated. We always take an actual reading at your property."
And the woman says to me "Are you sure?"

At that point I wanted to say "no, actually I think you're right! *smacking forehead* it's been estimated!! How did you know! You're so brilliant!! And to think, me with all the meter and account information here in front of me, couldn't know that it had been estimated! Honestly, you're brilliant. Would you like a job here so we lowly call staff can be taught the right way to do it?"
But I said "yes I'm sure. It's an actual reading"


And then there are the strange class of people who want to tell me they never shower and only cook in the microwave, so how could they have an account this high??
I'd love to say that maybe it's the "stinkyman" surcharge kicking in.
Ewww….

Did you believe that?

I wonder how many people were told things as a child, that they might not have really believed, but weren't game enough to put it to the test just in case...

What am I talking about?
Well, how many of you were told that if you ate bread crusts, your hair would grow curly?
I have curly hair and anyone that knows me knows that the crust of the bread is my favourite part however the only reason I have curly hair is genetics!!!




What about the saying that if you make a face when the wind blows, your face would stay like that? Wow was I ever scared of that one!! I think I was well into my teens before I would chance that one...



Who of you were too scared to step on a crack?


And wasn't it nice thinking there really was a tooth fairy? I so much wanted to believe that a magical, pretty little fairy came into my room while I was sleeping, took my old tooth and left a shiny little coin in it's place....




And the fairies resided at the bottom of the garden of course... along with the pixies and those nasty trolls.




Was there anyone else that really really wanted their parents to drive them to the end of the rainbow just in case there really was a pot of gold there? That elusive end of the rainbow... somehow we never quite made it... or did someone else just beat us to it and took the gold before we got there?


We were never really told about the monstors under the bed or in the cupboard but we all knew they were there and somehow only came alive when the lights went out.


Where do these sayings and thoughts come from?

Do you have any of your own to add to my little list?

Eating Cake & Diet Rules...

I've always hated the expression "he wants his cake and wants to eat it too" I mean really, what nonsense is that!!!

Can you imagine sitting in a cafe with a group of friends, you all order cake and coffees... while your friends munch away on theirs, you leave your cake untouched. It's time to go and one of your friends notices your untouched cake.

"Aren't you going to eat that?" they ask you.

"oh no", you reply quite indignantly, "I don't want to be one of those people who gets their cakes AND eats it to!! no way, not me!"

Speaking of eating cake, seems there are always people around me that are dieting or wanting to lose weight so I thought now would be a good time to list a few diet laws.

These laws are not scientifically tested but neither is naturopathy and we all know that works!!!So for all you dieters....

1. If you eat it standing up, it has no calories.

2. If you eat from someone else's plate, it has no calories.

3. Mothers this one's for you. If you have children who don't finish their food, the unfinished portion that you end up polishing off has no calorie content.

4. The sliver you cut off of cake, bread, or any other loaf like item to make the remaining portion "neat" has no calories... no matter how many times you need to shape that cake/bread/etc, to make it "neat"

5. When baking, tasting the batter to check if it's correct has no calories.

5a. "licking the bowl" contains no calories.5

b. checking the finished product to see if it turned out ok contains no calories.

6. Eating in front of the television is bad only if you think about it. If you mindlessly shovel food into your mouth without thinking about it, then you didn't really eat it and therefore has no calories.

7. Food consumed at the cinema has no calories because it's part of the whole movie going experience.

8. Similarly, food consumed at parties has no calories because it's part of the party experience. This is especially true if you don't notice what you're eating (see Law 6)

9. If you eat while exercising (i.e., walking to the donut shop/fish & chip shop/bakers delight/McDonalds etc) then it has no calories.

10. If you really don't want the food you're consuming to have millions of calories, then by the power of your mind, those calories are wished away.

So there you go dieters.

Like I said, they're not scientifically proven but I have lived by these rules and know others that have and are still living by these rules.

So when you hear people say "I'm watching what I eat but I still can't lose weight" you can say, "a ha!, it's because you're watching what you eat!!! You have to be mindless about it!! Don't notice what you're eating, just shovel it in before your mind has a chance to respond! Then you too can be one of those people that say 'I don’t' eat anything yet I can't lose weight!' "

Naughty but funny...

It's not that I want to embarrass anyone but this cracked me up yesterday and I wanted to write about it...

I was one of the few people who hadn't seen Schindlers List. I had always wanted to see it as I'd heard how powerful it was but for one reason or another, I never did.

Deno got it for me over the weekend and I thought it would be good for the kids to see it too....
Now they being teenagers, aren't really interested in seeing a movie unless their current heart throb is in it, or their friends have told them it's a movie they have to see... so when I told them that I wanted them to watch it too, they were against it..

Still not taking no for an answer, I told them that it wasn't an option, they had to at least start to watch it later that night when we'd all be home, and then we'd take it from there...

But as the day went on and the grumbles (from a particular girl) became more and more frequent, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I got her mobile phone when she wasn't looking and changed my name on her contact list to her best friends name.
I then went back to my phone and sent her a text saying something about just having seen Schindlers list and what a great movie it was....
When she came back in and saw this message, supposedly from her best friend, she announced it to us all and wrote back to her 'friend' "funny enough, I'm seeing it today" without knowing what was really going on.
I could barely keep the laughter in. I know it's horrible but it's funny too isn't it???

So she watched it.. in fact both kids watched it all with us and we were all affected by it but I'm sure she must have been wondering why her friend had described this as an "awesome" movie!!!

One day on, I still haven't told her that it was me and today they're going to school so I wonder what conversations she's going to have with her best friend???

I'm such a mean mum!!!!
:)