Friday, February 13, 2009

Letter To An Unamed Person

I want to tell you to shut up. I'm so thankful I don't have to see you every day because sometimes while you're going on and on and on about something you've already told me, I just want to slap your face and yell "shut up!!!"

I don't want to hear how big your boobs are. I've heard that story. I know it's hard for you to exercise with enormous boobs. They don't look that enormous to me but hey, I'll take your word for it but ultimately, I really don't give a damn!

I don't want to hear how caring and loving you are. I've heard that story many times. yes I know you're thoughtful, you care too much about others and they take you for granted...

I don't want to hear how stressed you are. You've told me over and over again. I'll just assume you're stressed until you tell me otherwise.

I don't want to hear about your offspring. You love him. I get it. He's perfect, I get it. I'm happy for you but for godsakes woman! Telling me a couple of times is enough!!

Why don't you know that if I'm busy doing something important, I won't be interested in hearing what you're going to have for lunch. Do you really want me to stop working on my important document or deadline to ponder with you whether you should have yoghurt or a sandwich??

Why don't you see how much you whinge and whine!! Why don't you know that?? You tell me how bad everyone else is, then tell me how caring and soft you are and it just doesn't add up!!

I don't want to hear how you think you have a guardian angel and you believe in spirits and god knows what else. Believe in your fairies if you like, I'm not going to stop you, but don't expect me to believe otherwise and honestly, the more you talk about it, the more fruity you make yourself appear.

I don't want to EVER know you're wearing matching underwear. That is way too much information.

I don't want you to lump me into your ethnic group because we're NOT the same!

I resent being asked a question, then be compltely ignored when I stop what I'm doing to answer your asinine enquiry.

But when you're quiet, I think you're lovely.


exasperated ,

"person you know"


Anonymous said...

PMSL!!! Oh I love it....I used to work with someone just like your unamed person.

Brilliant entry - really gave me a good giggle...and I need it today.

Have a great weekend Margot

Evil Pixie said...

Well done! There are so many people I know that this applies to, it is scary!