Thursday, December 1, 2011

Going Up? Too bad for you...


First day back at work after annual leave is always a bit of a shock to the system even for a part timer like me.

It was made more interesting for me by the arrival of a new lift system.

Most of the floors in my building are only accessible by swiping your security card.
So previously, you'd get in the lift, swipe your card and press your floor.

Ahhhhh it sounds so simple when it's put like that.

The reality was, you'd swipe your card but it wouldn't register and those lift doors only stay open for so long so if you didn't have your arm out holding the door, god knows where you'd end up.
Particularly bad luck for those of us (me included) on the first floor if someone got in and started trying to swipe before you.

So when I saw the new lift system today I thought great! Problem solved!!!

Let me explain how this new "high tech" system works.
You push your floor number BEFORE you get in, swipe your card and the panel tells you which of the six lifts will take you there. 
Again, great in theory....
So I get there, push 1, swipe my card when asked and.... Nothing. Actually it wasn't nothing, it was some kind of "error" beep... after the third or fourth time I expected the security alarms to start going off.

Meanwhile people all around me are pushing their floor and being directed to the lift that will take them there. It all seemed to be working fine for them.

Now before you ask, there is NO option to walk up to the first floor from the ground level otherwise I'd gladly do that...

After six or ten attempts I just followed a girl into a lift, thinking I'd go to where she was going and then walk down to my floor.... You can imagine how strange it must have been when I follow her in then ask what floor she's going to...
"I'm going where you're going"
She told me she was going to the 11th....
Great


Who knew riding an elevator could cause so much frustration...

Later I found out my card hadn't been enabled yet because I'd been on leave when it was installed.
Hopefully it will work tomorrow... fingers doubly and triply crossed...

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

When someone thinks for you....

 Saturday night Sarah, Josh and I were in the car coming back from Sweeney Tood (an amazing production/performance). We'd gushed about it for most of the trip back and then were silent in the car.

Sarah breaks the silence by saying
"Mum where's the..."
and before she finishes the sentence, I say
"It's in the bottom drawer"

And silence took over again.


And as I was sitting there replaying those few words in my head I wondered what Josh thought of it so I said
"Josh did you notice how we did that?"

Being a teenage male, he wasn't even aware that we'd spoken, let alone that we'd had a mental telepathy moment....

 But there is something about my daughter that makes her know exactly what I'm going to say before I even say it! This is probably the first time I've noticed it work the other way.

Half the time I don't even know what I want to say myself and I stumble over my words
"Did you see...? where's the....? did you want...? remember when we did that thing?"
No matter what I'm saying, she knows what I'm asking and answers accordingly...

She's a clever chookie that one! Don't know where she gets it from ;)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Feeling for Rudolph

It's the time of year when Xmas carols start being sung. You either love them or hate them but I think, even if you love them, by the time Xmas comes around, you're ready to throttle someone every time you hear one.

This seems to be especially true for me seeing as we have a few Xmas shows coming up with the chorus, and we've been busy rehearsing our Xmas carols.

There's one carol that has always puzzled me. I don't understand why everyone thinks it's a great song. There seems to be a very bad message behind it.

The carol I'm talking about is Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Lyrics can be found here

Don't know what I'm talking about?

Well, here's this poor little reindeer who is picked on by the other reindeer for being different.
Poor Rudolph had a shiny nose. The song makes it worse by saying if YOU saw it, you'd laugh at him too! So it's saying his nose is so bad,  you couldn't help but torment him about it. As if Rudolph had any control over his shiny glowing nose...

So the cruel reindeer laugh and call him names (honestly couldn't Santa have picked a better crew??)
That is, until that fateful foggy Xmas Eve when Santa came and singled out Rudolph.
"Hey Rudolph, I kind of like that thing you've got going in the middle of your face there, why don't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
So maybe Santa felt sorry for him, or maybe Santa wanted to piss the other reindeer off, or maybe Rudolph was picked for his sleigh guiding abilities.. either way, that night, he was the man.

It's the NEXT bit that really baffles me...
THEN how the reindeer loved him... only THEN???? Only when Santa said "hey this dude is ok"?? There's no mention of the reindeer being repentant or of learning a lesson about bullying.. no, they only loved him because they were brown nosing Santa...
Bad, bad lesson in that!

If you ask me, Santa should have done away with them and picked a new crew and he probably should have interviewed for the sleigh guiding position and hired someone on merit and ability.

But that's the world we live in isn't it.

*******

I was challenged to come up with an alternate version of the song so here it is... set to the same tune of course!

You know Dasher and Dancer
And Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen.
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all?

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would say his beauty shows

All of the other reindeer
Were mean and often called him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Play in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
You're shitting me with your bicker all night
So Rudolph guide my sleigh tonight
Then all the rest were jealous,
And they seethed internally.
Santa has gone and sacked them,
And Rudolph will make history...






Thursday, June 30, 2011

On being food delusional....


Do you really want to know who's making your food?

When you go into a restaurant, are you happier if you can see the kitchen, or if it's nestled somewhere out the back out of customer view?
While I understand the value of being able to see the kitchen (after all, if you can see them, they're more likely to use proper hygiene) I don't always want to know who's handled my food.
I like to pretend my food just materialised like that, without any human handling... after all, you can't be grossed out by what you don't know about...

Today at lunchtime, I went into one my regular convenience stores in the city and got a vegetarian baguette. It's not always there so my food obsessed heart did a little leap as I saw one remaining... behind the counter... just waiting to be consumed by me!

So I asked for it and the girl behind the counter said "oh I made those today! I'll just get one for you"

Now she wasn't excessively gross or grubby, but I did find myself assessing her after she'd told me she'd made it.
Yeah ok, I'm strange like that.
Of course, it didn't stop me from eating it but I just wish she hadn't told me and the fantasy of my baguette springing to life from nothing could have lived longer in my head.

I've never thought too much about who handles my food until I started watching those cooking/restaurant shows on tv. Have you seen what they do on some of those shows??? And that's with the camera!! God knows what goes on in a normal restaurant kitchen where there are no cameras and no other eyes watching!
I honestly don't want to know!


Who said delusions were a bad thing??

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

But you said.....


The teenage brain is a curious thing.

Recently Miss 16 came to ask me if she could attend a certain concert with her boyfriend.
Being the sometimes cautious mum that I am, I said she could go if she could get an adult to go with them...

She shuffled away, brain cells churning no doubt, to see how she could make this happen.

I had suggested asking her dad, or asking my brother, or another relative that might be interested in going...

A few days later she bounded up to me, eyes shining brightly, barely able to keep her excitment level down.
"I found an adult!"

Now I should add at this point, that Miss 16's boyfriend is 17 and just happens to have a birthday a few weeks before this concert that they both want to go to...

"Steven is turning 18 just before the concert!" she exclaimed. I think there may even have been a hint of "a ha, gotcha!" in her voice...

"That's fantastic for him. Why are you telling me?" I replied..
"Because that means he'll be an adult!! And I'll be able to go to the conert with him! You said it had to be an adult!"

And honest to god, she still doesn't get it...

Monday, June 20, 2011

And now for the next attention seeking headline: Sibling Rivalry


Sibling rivalry is sometimes hard enough to live with without having the eyes of the world scrutinising and interpreting every move you and your sibling make.

I saw this headline today

Kate vs Pippa: Royal rivals


Really? You don't think Kate has enough of her hands right now? She has to worry about being upstaged by her sister? She got the prince, I think she's happy enough!

They first sentence in this article states
"As the Duchess steals the show at another wedding, the sisters’ lifelong rivalry over who is “thinnest and prettiest” heats up."

Do you think they are really competing to get more accolades than the other?
"Sure, you got the prince, but everyone thinks my butt is better than yours so there!"

So why do we flock to this stuff?
Why do we demand such articles?
Who is the winner here?
Pippa is now a celebrity in her own right. Why should she be compared to her sister?
Kate is now a princess, why does anything about her have to be compared to her sister?
Why can't these two just enjoy their own limelight? Why do they need to be compared?

I'll tell you why... because we like controversy!
We like to think there's something going on so we can talk about how terrible it is over the water cooler or while we're getting out hair done, or sitting having coffee with the girls... It makes us feel better about our own lives if celebrities aren't having the perfect lives they're sometimes portrayed to have.

And it works!
Magazines live on controversy!
A controversial story will win every time over a feel good story.

I feel sorry for those girls. I just hope they have the maturity required to not give in to the public pressure and won't let a rift or sibling competition appear when there never would have been...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

When you don't want to be noticed...


It's no secret that I can tend to be obsessive about things.
Whether it's exercise, my diet plan, podcasts, writing music or whatever, I can go overboard.

Today I stepped out of the office during my morning break to visit one of my favourite convenience stores.
It's the closest one where I can get Home Made Rice Custard from and I've got quite the taste for it lately...

I thought I had been discreet.

There are actually three convenience stores in walking distance that stock this rice custard and depending on where I am and how much time I've got, that will dictate which store I visit.

I try to spread it out so that my obsession doesn't become apparant.

I usually buy two at a time and always ask for two spoons... as if I'm buying for someone else too but no, it's just for me, no one else... and I have a drawer full of spoons at work...

I thought I was being so clever and with the million people that go in and out of those stores every day, I thought I'd never be noticed but the guy behind the counter today said to me
"You must really love those rice custards"

I wasn't sure what he said so I asked him to repeat it and he did...

"Those rice custards you get all the time. You must really love them"

I was mortified once again...

You can always tell when I haven't been there for a few days as stock builds up...
One store has even increased the price of them and I'm sure it's because I'm buying them all the time!

I don't think it's going to kill my love of rice custard but I think I'll wait at least a few days before going into that particular convenience store again!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

When it may be time to change professions...



Recently I had the opportunity to hear a speaker and it was an interesting experience to say the least.


This speaker didn't have english as her first language and while her command of it was very good, she did have some interesting pronunciations.


For example, the word "determine" was pronounced almost as two words. "Deter" and "mine" (as in land mine)

She was reading from a slide and this word, determine, kept appearing in the slides over and over again and all I could think was, "is someone going to tell her??"

I didn't tell her either so I guess I have to answer to myself too!


Apart from the mispronunciations, this speaker was interesting to watch because of her lack of patience.
We had opportunity to ask questions at certain point and if you didn't get it, she would grow increasingly frustrated, to the point where she would roll her eyes and you just know she wanted to say "listen you stupid moron, it's simple, just understand what I'm saying"

The trouble was, everytime she repeated herself, she said the SAME thing.

If someone doesn't get it, best practice is to say it another way! It doesn't do anyone any good to just repeat the same thing over and over again. Everyone she did this too eventually gave up and we just discussed it amongst ourselves later.


We were respectful to her despite all that. Even when she decided to mispronounce names.

Our names were all clearly displayed yet she insisted on calling "Joan", "Joanne".

One time when she did this, a few of us giggled a little too loud and she shot her head around and said "what's so funny? what are you laughing at?"


Touchy much?


Probably just as well we didn't point out the "determine" thing.


While it was entertaining, it's a shame we didn't get to learn as much as we might have done if we'd had another speaker...


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

First Impressions?


Recently I found myself in a situation where I was with someone who I was only barely aquainted with.
I don't consider myself a shy person but I think everyone in that situation thinks "what are we going to talk about?"
And as time passed I realised that if there was going to be any conversation, I'd have to be the one making it.

As I learnt from The Brady Bunch, the best way to make people talk is to ask them questions about their favourite subject... themselves..
I started doing that but her answers were so abrupt I felt like I was prying even though I was only asking questions about her work. It's hard to converse when you don't get those same questions back!

But by the end of our time together she relaxed considerably and was talking a lot more freely. Later she thanked me over and over again for helping her out with something earlier that day.

So I'm glad I persisted in trying to talk to her. I felt like she thought I was prying but obviously she was just shy or perhaps reserved.
Just goes to show, first impressions aren't always valid..

Friday, May 20, 2011

"Come to the edge" he said...


    "Come to the edge" he said,
    "We can't, we are afraid" they said...

    "Come to the edge"
    "We can't, we will fall"
    "Come to the edge"
    and they came
    and he pushed them
    and they flew.


    Guillaume Appollinaire


Sunday, May 15, 2011

Not long now...


I tried to let this go, I really did, but as the date approaches, I'm more and more concerned about why people allow themselves to believe ridiculous things.

This website is claiming that the rapture is occurring on May 21st and the end of the world will follow on October 21 2011.
It doesn't specify what time zone that is by the way...

And it kind of sucks if your birthday is on the 22ND doesn't it?... or even after October 21ST...


I have to wonder if the people who run the website, really do believe that the world is going to end?
This isn't just a website, this is a movement. They've had billboards up all over the place in America, and probably other parts of the world too.
They were giving out free promotional material to advertise the end of the world but their website claims they're not doing it anymore because the return of their lord is really really close, so there's not enough time...




This is a quote from their website
"This web site serves as an introduction and portal to four faithful ministries which are teaching that WE CAN KNOW from the Bible alone that the date of the rapture of believers will take place on May 21, 2011 and that God will destroy this world on October 21, 2011."


But I wonder if they've made preparations for the end of the world?
Have they given up all their money and possessions? After all, after May 22ND they won't be needing it anymore...

You see it's funny, until you see the reality of the situation.
If these people really truly believe it (and you can bet they probably do if they've spent all they have on getting the message out there) what is going to happen to them when they discover they're still here on May 22ND?
Will they feel betrayed? Will they think they weren't worthy of the rapture and look ahead to the end of the world in October?

My guess is they'll quickly make up a reason and change the date...
and continue on as if plan B was the original plan in the first place.

I myself am interested in this site
which is "countdown to backpedaling" and that is exactly what's going to happen.

I so want to take these people, shake them about while screaming "USE YOUR BRAIN!!!!" but it probably wouldn't do any good...

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Quick, grab your camera, she's eating!


Ok so she's thin, she puts on weight, she takes it off, she walks around in a bikini (with a sarong) on Oprah, she puts on weight, she takes it off... I mean please! Give the woman a break!

Some of us have a harder time when it comes to weight and weight related issues. I count myself in that group.



Can you imagine if you're Kirstie Alley, battling through food addiction and weight fluctuations, the same fluctuations that a lot of us face in life, but having it portrayed for the world to see?



Can you imagine your image being plastered out there to the world every time you decided to have a piece of cake? Doesn't matter if that was your first piece in months, the world is going to judge you for it!



The poor girl has to justify herself every time she's caught eating something caloric. She's asked about her weight all the time. Really it's not the only thing she's known for! Can we get off this food thing already? We get it! She has a problem with food! So leave the poor girl alone because she has a mirror! She knows! She doesn't need for it to be brought up and rubbed in her face continually.


The final straw for me came this week when it was reported she was only having 150 calories a day while on the "Dancing with the Stars" and had collapsed on stage... the next day, there's an article saying "Kirsty Alley Eats"

Are you kidding me?? This is news?

She must be a pretty strong person because I can tell you if it were me, I would have gone into hiding by now!

All I'm saying is we all have things we have to work on. Lets leave the non important stuff and for god sakes, lets work on ourselves instead of picking on others no matter how much easier and comfortable that is to do...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

When Brilliance May Be Over-rated


It's amazing what can go through your mind in the wee hours of the morning.
At times I've created songs or paragraphs of prose that I swore were brilliant. I would wake up cursing myself that I hadn't recorded this wonderful creativity.

I decided to put this to the test and kept a pad by my bedside so I could record this brilliance and discovered that my self assessment wasn't so accurate in the cold hard light of day.

Similarly, I've made a decision to do this or that as I'm tossing and turning at 4am. It seems like such a good idea at the time and I can hardly wait to get up so I can carry out whatever it is that's come into my head to do...
Write this person an email,
send this acquaintance a card to cheer them up,
call or text someone who might not be expecting it...

By the time I'm up and dressed I realise that the great idea may not be so great after all and may have even caused a whole lot of problems if I'd carried it out!
Please don't tell me this only happens to me...

I've had a lot of trouble sleeping lately so I've had the chance to see this phenomenon in action...

I now know not to act on any half asleep thoughts until my mind and body are in sync.

Although I have to say I was a lot happier when I thought I was a brilliant composer without having to provide the evidence!!!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mummy, Mum, Mother


The Images of Mother


4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mummy can do anything!


8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mum knows a lot! A whole lot!


12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.


14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.


16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.


18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!


25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!


35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mum's opinion.


45 YEAR S OF AGE - Wonder what Mum would have thought about it?


65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mum.




Tuesday, May 3, 2011

When you don't learn the first time...

Last last year, Master Fifteen had the misfortune of leaving his laptop on the school bus.

Fortunately for him, it was found by an honest student who took it home, and together with her father, worked out who it belonged to and contacted us.

I went to their place the following morning with Master Fifteen and a box of chocolates to thank them.
They were really very nice people..


Today, I got a text from Miss Sixteen to say that Master Fifteen had left his mobile phone on the bus and they only realised it when they got off...
I tried calling the phone a few times but there was no answer. Master Fifteen later told me he'd had the phone on silent.

So I texted the phone to say if anyone found it, could they please call me.

It's not a special phone but people do like the "finders keepers" rule so I didn't have high expectations of getting it back...

Later that night I got a phone call from an unknown number and almost immediately recognised the voice.

He started to tell me his daughter had found a phone on the bus...

All I could think was "please don't let him ask my name or Master Fifteen's name" but he did.... and then he said "Was that the same person who left a laptop on the bus a little while ago?"

Yesiree... same boy...

We arranged for his daughter (who found the phone... the same girl who'd found the laptop) to bring the phone to student reception tomorrow and Master Fifteen will pick it up from there.
The voice added "I think I'll put it in an envelope, along with a staple gun so he doesn't forget his things anymore"

Oh, it was embarrassing...

But they are really nice people...

Even so, please Master Fifteen, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!

Monday, May 2, 2011

What's in your handbag?


I once read an article where they claimed they could tell what sort of woman you were, by what you carried around in your handbag...


I was reminded of this article just this week as I felt my handbag was heavier than normal and decided to do a clean out.
It's really amazing what you'll find in there!

I had a pair of Thorlos (ok so that was because I knew I'd be buying running shoes and had to have my running socks with me to measure my foot accurately...)

Ipod charger (cos having a dead ipod battery is never acceptable)

My Ipod

My phone


Addoku puzzle book (for those times when I'm waiting and there's just nothing to do)

Belly Button ring (My first and original one that I wore for eight years... still haven't put it away after changing to my new one...)

About 15 pens.... (ok I can't think of a reason why I have so many, maybe they just breed?)

Notebook (for when blog idea is just burning inside me...)

Purse (Full of cards and other crap that I won't go into now)

Voltaren Osteo Gel (for when you just need it)

Migraine pills (see above)

Lens Cleaner (To clean my glasses but I don't really use them... The cleaner was a freebie given out at the train station one morning)

Glasses (as stated, don't use them though but you just never know when...)

USB (No further explanation necessary)

Train time table,

Voice Recorder (for Chorus)

Batteries (well... to use when required)

1001 receipts (In case I ever have to return that item... although finding the individual rcpt for that may be tricky)

paper clips

Crumbs (honestly I have no idea)

Two or three dress rings (for when I just have to wear them)

Lady products,

More headphones (in case the ones I'm using don't work anymore)

And a picture of my dad

So there you have it... That's what in my handbag!

So what's in yours??

Friday, April 29, 2011

My Secret Lover...



I recently found an old blog and plucked this entry out of it....

Who knew I'd been such a bad girl?





How can I live without you?


I was kidding myself when I made the decision to banish you from my life.
The memories of our sweet times fill my mind. Over and over they torment me. You call me… from wherever you are, you call me, tempting me always to once again give in you. How I want to give in.. oh how I want to surrender myself to you.


Even when I’m not with you, I think of you. I dream of you caressing my lips and I, gently licking you all over. Licking, sucking,.. sometimes the urge is just too great and I have to take you all in right away. All I want is to share in you. You’re so sweet. Your appeal is so apparent to all who know you.


How can my passion be wrong?
How can something so pure, so perfect, have such terrible consequences.


It’s true, my love for you is an obsession. That’s why I’m having such a hard time letting go of you.. but I promised I would and I’m doing all that I can to keep that promise.


Four days it’s been since you touched my lips…

Four days since I lay in the ecstasy of having indulged in your sweetness, your allure.
Four days since your aroma started the feelings in me which cannot be denied.

I must have you.


I will see you in secret.

I will seek you out and together we can sate this burning desire that grows minute by minute within me. Oh I need you, I need you right now!


Wait for me lover, I’m coming to you…


Listen for me as I whisper your name….
.
.

.

Chocolate… chocolate… chocolate…..


My first and only true love….





Thursday, April 28, 2011

When Happiness Is Catchy...

I had another strange but not unpleasant experience this morning.

I had taken an earlier train in to the city because I wanted to go to Priceline in Hindley street before work. It's close by and they open at 8am...

I got there about 7.55am so I was waiting on the corner for them to open, when I noticed a kind of straggly looking woman, trying to take a photo of herself with the statue that's just outside the store.
The statue is of Roy "Mo" Rene... an Australian comedian from about 80 years ago.

She had a few teeth missing but she was happy enough and talked to whoever was walking by, even if they didn't talk back and just kept walking...

She took photo after photo but kept lamenting her failures out loud "oh it's too close", "I'm not on the picture", "that photo is all head!" etc etc.

I found her strangely endearing.
Maybe it was her happy demeaner.. I don't know.. but I inched closer and it wasn't long before she looked up and smiled at me.
I asked her if she wanted me to take the photo for her and she grinned like a little girl.

As I got closer I smelt a strong smell of alcohol and at 7.55am in the morning, that's a pretty good effort! But she was so happy you couldn't help but want some of that happiness too!

So I took her phone and snapped a picture of her kissing the statue. I almost asked if she could text it to me so I could remember the occassion too...

She hugged me and thanked me then told me she was sending the photo to her nan in Sydney. She was going to tell her nan that she met her ideal man and this just cracked her up. She also told me that she needed a man like this now as her husband was dead. It was just blurted out bluntly like that.

She hugged me again and gave me a kiss on the cheek, wished me a happy easter (for 2012?) and hugged me for a third time.

And then Priceline opened and she was off and suddenly the day didn't seem so bad after all...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You don't have to have any, just have some...

When it comes to food, this past long weekend was certainly a challenging one.
I come from a background where excess is good.
My grandparents had nothing growing up, so when it came to food, the more they could get, the better...
And then food become plentiful but that mindset was still there...

Take as much as you want; take as much as you can.

So as a child, portions were always huge but I didn't see it as huge. That was just normal.
My dad used to eat his pasta accompanied by bread so I tried to do the same, sometimes making myself sick but it seemed to make him happy when I ate..

At 18, I hosted my first dinner party with a friend and we served three huge courses followed by coffee and more little cakes and biscuits to about fifteen people.
This was a normal Sunday lunch for us and we couldn't understand why everyone was saying there was so much food. We thought they were just being polite!


So this Easter Sunday we were at my mothers house and she had so much food. I'd asked her if there was anything I could bring and she said "maybe a sweet?" so I made my low fat cheesecake... but even as I was making it I knew she would have more than enough dessert there and my cheesecake would just be superfluous.

The table was set with tasty nibbles.

More than you can imagine... then we had delicious, melt in your mouth ravioli...


followed by fillet Mignon and at least five side dishes of unbelievable quality.


It's very hard to say no!!



Instead of resting our tummies before dessert, my mum started bringing out the chocolates and biscuits and ice-cream. Not wanting my cheesecake to feel left out, I brought that out too and started serving it up.

I was just dishing up the last piece of cheesecake (to which I mother added several scoops of gelati) when she slapped her forehead saying "Oh, I forgot the rice-cake!!! Nadia can you go get the rice-cake from the fridge?"

There was a collective groan as we all held our stomachs and said "no please, we're so full, there's just no room for it!"

And my mother classically replied "No, you don't have to have any, just have some"

And that's the motto..... You don't have to have any, just have some....

Because of course, it doesn't count if you don't mean to have it.
It doesn't count if you just cut off a sliver at a time and eat that.
It doesn't count if the piece doesn't actually make it to a plate.
If you just spoon some out of the dish directly to your mouth, you aren't really having it!

It was pretty cute and we all had a giggle over it....


Deno had cycled and I had run that morning but we felt so bad we went for a 9kms walk after we got home...
But that was Sunday... and Monday was still to come!

Monday we went to my sister in law Kelly's place and she'd created a similar feast! And it was just all so tasty! BBQ'd meats, spicy meatballs and guacamole, scalloped potatoes, ricotta cannelloni, salad... not to mention the tasty dips and bits and pieces that were already on the table. When did she have time to do all this!

For dessert she had a lemon meringue pie AND apple crumble and although I love my desserts, I just couldn't... I just couldn't even look at it I'm so over food!


But at least I won't have to cook this week as I had a fridge full of left overs!!!

And remember, if you don't want it, you don't have to have it, just have some....

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Margot's Low Fat Berry Cheesecake

This is my own personal recipe so if you make it, I hope you like it!
It's a low fat but very tasty version of a classic favourite...

And I'm pretty sure I got the measurements right......


BASE

2 x 250gm packed of sweet wholemeal biscuits crushed
1 tsp ground cinnamon
200gms butter (I used low fat margarine) melted
2 x 425gms cans stoneless cherries
Berry jam (I used strawberry)


Filling and Decoration

1kg low fat cottage cheese
1 cup icing sugar
500gms low fat berry yogurt (I used yoplait forme - strawberry)
7 tablespoons lemon
2 tablespoons gelatin
1 450 gms packed frozen berries (I used season choice Three Berry Mix)



1 Mix together the crushed biscuits, cinnamon and butter in a mixing bowl.
Use to line the base and side of a dish. (I used a lasagna dish but don't know how big it is...)
Chill for about 10 minutes

2. Spread a thin layer of berry jam over the the biscuit base
Cut the stoneless cherries in half and spread over the jam.

3. Mix the cottage cheese in a blender with the icing sugar until you have a smooth creamy mixture.
Transfer to mixing bowl and add low fat yogurt.
Mix well

4. Put the lemon juice in a non reactive pan. sprinkle the gelatin over.
Dissolve over a very low heat

5. Remove from heat and stir a little of the cheese mixture into the gelatin mixture.
Add this to the remaining cheese mixture and mix well.
Spoon into base.

6. Put the frozen berries over the top to decorate.


7. Chill for 4 hours.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Customer Stories from April 2011


It always baffles me why customers will call on their mobiles, then complain they have no credit and ask if we can we call them back.

It’s simple guys, if you don’t want to use your mobile phone credit, then don’t call on your mobile phone!

Here are a few customer stories from the last week or two…

~~~~~~~~~~

Customer rambling to me: “I have the bill here, do I? Oh! No, I don’t… I thought I had it… oh, here it is. I thought I’d left it on the kitchen table. I was pretty sure. I think I brought it out yesterday because I knew I’d be calling you. Ok. I’ve got the account and it’s got an account no. Do you want the account no?”

I wanted to say “oh no please, it’s such a pleasure to hear you having a conversation with yourself. By all means, continue. I’m even taking notes!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I write this, it’s the 8th of April. I just had a customer who called up angry because he’d received an overdue notice when he claimed the account had been paid.

I checked his account… No, there hadn’t been a payment come through...

“Well it has been paid” he insisted loudly “and I’ve got the rcpt right here!

“When was it paid?” I asked as it usually takes a day or two to hit the account.

“I’ve got the rcpt and it says right here on the 17th of April that I paid $400”

I confirmed the date with him again and then said “and do you realise that today is on the 8th and you’re telling me you paid this in eleven days time?”

And believe it or not, he didn’t acknowledge his error but changed the subject to his next gripe…

~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a time and place for protracted stories.

If you’re watching a movie, then it’s a good thing! If you’re reading a novel, it’s essential! If you’re calling up your energy provider, it absolutely NOT required!

I recently had a guy call to tell me how many burners he uses when he cooks his breakfast, then how many when he cooks his lunch.

This was because he’d discovered a hissing sound coming from his burner, indicating that gas was escaping. He couldn’t smell any gas and promptly turned the burner off… but wanted to call to ask if it was going to be safe to use the burner the following day…. Oh, and he’d opened all the doors and windows as well which was a bit of a sacrifice for him because he has arthritis and the cold air made his condition flare up…

Along the same lines, I had another customer who ummed and ahhhed for about 40 long seconds while he was thinking about whether he called a certain supplier last Monday or Friday. I had to bite my tongue because I really wanted to say “It doesn’t make a fricken bit of difference to this situation that you rang your supplier, let alone what DAY you did it on!!”

Remember, if you want good fast efficient service when calling a utility company, less is more. Let them ask the questions and only answer what you’ve been asked!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Do you know...? How many...? Where is...? What does...? Who was the person...?‏


Are you a googler?

My less technical friends have often scoffed when I whip out my phone or ipod as soon as someone asks a question.

We may be sitting around, contemplating the population of Los Angeles or wondering if such and such a celebrity is still alive or who was that actor that played in that movie?

I just dont get why we all have to sit around and wonder, when the answer is at the tap of a few buttons?

Why argue when you can settle it right there and then!

No longer will the person with the loudest and most obstinate voice win that battle! The ipod can settle it.

Theres certainly no shame in wanting to know the correct, accurate answer!

And speaking of googling, how many have googled themselves? I.E. Egosurfing

I know I have! And theres quite a few embarrassing links out there that maybe one day Ill get around to taking down but I know Im not alone! Go ahead, google yourself. You may be surprised whats out there.

I embrace technology and our changing society with caution. I just cant be one of these people that automatically think change is bad.

Yeah I know kids arent playing in the streets anymore but take a look at their parents and youll find that theyre not very active either!

Technology is not to blame. These kids didnt buy the game systems they use and set themselves uncontrolled usage.

So go ahead and use technology. Let it better and enrich your life. Just remember that youre its masterdont let it master you.

Now, whats the population of Los Angeles???

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Our own little hiding spots...


I was a young girl in the seventies, and a teenager in the eighties. As a result, the bra burning movement was pretty much over by the time I was wearing them!

Now I'll applaud a woman's choice to wear or not wear them but frankly, I can't understand why a woman wouldn't want to wear a bra! It's such a wonderful invention!
I keep a myriad of things in mine (apart from the obvious!)


Need to store an ipod but have no pockets? Tuck it in your bra!
Need to bring feminine hygiene products into the bathroom discreetly? Tuck it in your bra!
Need to store your car key while you go for your run? Tuck it into your bra!
Need to have spare change handy? A tissue handy? Just use your imagination and simplify your life.

Recently I was searching Acapella groups on you tube and came across this female quartet. One of the singers sounded the pitch pipe to get them started, then promptly stored that thing in her bra!!! And that was in front of a live audience!!
You've gotta love that..

Not to mention the older you get, the nicer they make your boobies look... There's no countering gravity if you go the natural way...

So while I admit I'm happy to take it off as soon as I can when I'm done for the day, I love the versatility of wearing and storing things in a bra.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

How Do You Spell That???


Once upon a time it was simple.
People married, had a baby who was given a commonly spelt first name, and took their fathers surname.
These days, anything goes!

And I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, but having been one that's had to spell my name my whole life, I don't envy the kids growing up in this era.
Leaving surname's aside, is it, Steven or Stephen?
Allan or Alan?
Darrel or Darrell or Daryl?
Robin or Robyn?
Dianne or Diane?
Rachel or Rachael?
I'm sure you can think of plenty more.
They're the simple ones....
But what about the non traditional names?

Emersyn, Jayde, Laekin, Braylei,Trey, Brayson, Landon, Kaiden, Grayson, Jaiden, Payton, Kyler, Braylen, Kayleb, Ryder, Paxton, Delaney, Jazelle, Jesamae, Jerrica, Jessa, Jasmine, Peyton, Quinna, Raeyna.
These are just a few names I saw, just by going through recent birth notices.

My name is simple enough but I'm forever having to say "with a t". It's not pronounced.
I work in the service industry and it can be frustrating when a customer really wants to know what my name is. I can't tell you how many times I spell it out once, then twice then just end up leaving off the t... or just pretend that my name is Margaret, Margray, Marjay, Barbara or whatever it was the customer thinks they heard me say... It's just easier!

So too will the kids of this era be spelling their first names for the rest of their lives.


But wait, it's not a given that mum and dad are married so what name will the kid take? Will it be just mum's? Just dad's? A hyphenated combination?

And what if one hyphenated combination grows up and meets another hyphenated combination and they have a child out of wedlock?
Will the baby that's produced of this union have a hyphenated hyphenation?

My brain's hurting..

So parents, please take all this into consideration when naming your baby.

Let their talents and gifts be their originality, not the spelling of their names...

Monday, April 4, 2011

There's a time and a place...


So I was just going about my business, doing my weekly shopping when I heard a couple discussing a rather private subject behind me.

The trouble is, they weren't using their quite voices!

The guy was telling his girlfriend how she needed a sex toy and then went into the specifics of why (which I won't be doing in this blog).

In their defense, they were standing in front of the "family planning" section so it's not like they were bringing up a subject out of the blue.

Did they not see me right behind me? Did they not care that I now know all about their intimate life? Were they so engrossed in this particular part of their life that they weren't aware of anything that was going on around them?

The girlfriend was actually a little more timid and I felt a little sorry for her. The guy was loud and not shy about what he was saying or what words he was using.

It was kinda funny but I'm glad I didn't have any little children with me at the time!
Might have had to answer a few difficult questions!

Friday, April 1, 2011

You're singing it aren't you....



It’s 3.45pm on Friday on the 1st of April as I write this.

Believe it or not, I've found someone here at work who has not yet heard the Rebecca Black “Friday” song.


Not only has she not heard it, she doesn't know anything about it!!!! NOTHING!!! She didn't even know what I was talking about when I said “I have that stupid Friday song going thru my head”!!!

I want to live in THAT world!!!!


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

My dentist the smooth talker...


My dentist is a kind man. I don't like going to the dentist (who does??) , but it's always better when your dentist is nice.

He speaks to me like a parent would speak to a frightened child.
It's very soothing.

And I know that he's doing it but I just go with the flow because, well, being at the dentist is just not nice.

So I tolerate his patience, his gentle whispers and his need to ask me if I'm alright every few minutes.
It's good.
He's thorough.

I've always been nervous before dentist visits. I try not to think about it because I'd rather endure a dentist visit than sit with a mouth full of decay... so what must be done, gets done but as I sit there in the waiting room, waiting for the nurse to call out my name, I can feel my nervousness increase.

I've done all I can. I've brushed my teeth at least twice, probably three times that morning. I've flossed and made my breath as fresh as can be before the visit.


So I'm completely prepared but sitting there in the waiting room, feeling like I'm waiting for my name to be called for an execution, suddenly I can't swallow anymore.

I take a big swallow and it's not enough. I have to swallow again and by god, what if I have to swallow when I have my mouth open for the dentist?
How's that going to work out?
Will I choke on my own spit?
Has that ever happened? Has anyone ever drowned in their own saliva?
What if I have to cough?
Has tooth shrapnel ever got caught in someones throat?
I can't have my vocal chords damaged! should I tell the dentist?

So as you may now see, the dentist has every reason to treat me like a frightened child and I, like the good patient I am, take it.

And really I'm hardly stressing at all that I have another four visits or so to go as he has to do a complicated root canal.
Oh wait, I can't swallow again...

I bet he's looking forward to it just about as much as I am!

But he's a great dentist so if you need one recommended to you, let me know!