..and life goes on...

I guess it's about time I write in here.
To say it's been a difficult couple of weeks is an understatement.

I don't really want to dwell on it. What's happened has happened.

I have so many beautiful memories and it's been so good to share those with my family these past couple of weeks.

Last week while my sister and mother were sitting in my dad's hospital room, I thought about how nice it was that we were together, remembering and laughing about little things from the past. Then the reason of why we were sitting there hit me again and I'd get sad.
Still, death is a part of life... although knowing that doesn't make it any easier.

I think of all the things that I wanted to say to my dad. Most of them I actually did say but I wonder if he really understood it. I hope he knew how much he meant to me.

Towards the end when he was no longer able to communicate I kept holding his head or hand so he knew someone was there and was telling him that we were all here with him. I thought if he could hear me, then it might bring him some comfort.

Now that all the ceremony is over, the fact of what's happened is going to hit hard.

I know he was suffering and I'm so glad he's not anymore but thinking about his life and our life growing up with him these past couple of weeks just makes me miss him more.

Thanks dad. I know I wasn't an easy child to parent but you were the best father I could have hoped for.

xxxx